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06 Apr

Bankers, not just for Christmas

It’s been a tough time economically the last few months and no more so then for our poor bankers. Take a moment to think of these poor guys, it’s not easy for them now you know.

Once they were championed as the creators of the Celtic tiger, they were wined and dined by the politicians, the celebrities, all the big wheeler dealers in Ireland.

Little kids used to shower the ground they walked on with rose petals. Grandmothers used to offer novenas up for their good health as their grandkids could live the dream and be shackled for 40 years to a pile of bricks and mortar worth half the price of Seanie Fitzpatrick’s new shirt.

All Seanie ever wanted to do was live the capitalists dream, him and his golden circle. Now he can’t even walk down the street without the dogs looking at him funny.

He was questioned then released without charge by the fraud squad you know, most people seem ready to bring back the gallows. At least he was able to take a break from his troubles and was soon seen relaxing on the beaches of Portugal.

Unfortunately there was no sunshine for all the mortgage holders who had their interest rate increased last week.

It was also revealed last week by our minister for finance how much taxpayers money will be used by NAMA (that is the National Allocate Money to Assholes Agency, the extra A is hidden).

Every media outlet seems to be throwing out figures for how much the recapitalisation of banks and the purchase of bad loans by NAMA will cost the taxpayers and the tax payers’ children and grand children, e.g.  €200,000 per household or €2000 for every man woman and child.

I say what harm if future generations are levied with the reckless greed of bankers, property developers and politicians from the late twentieth century?

If the media is to be believed all the future generations will want to do is spend their money in head shops anyway so let them pay a bit of extra tax so that the Irish citizens can own the largest property portfolio in the world.

Think about the benefits to us, the taxpayers, for taking over ownership of that half-finished housing estate on the outskirts of Carrick-On-Shannon or that field on the road to Gorey zoned for retail development.

If Global warming is to be believed half of Leitrim will be under water in 50 years time so that unfinished housing estate in Carrick will become prime, beachfront property.

With such investment potential it’s a win-win situation for the tax payer (well maybe not the half of Leitrim that needs to take up scuba diving but that’s a topic for another day).

At least in this time of turmoil we can take faith in the politicians and the public service workers who serve us. They are working hard to solve the woes affecting the country, they spent a whole night locked in a room in Croke Park to try and ease the unrest amongst the public sector workers.

It’s not easy to raise kids, pay a mortgage and have two holidays a year on a public sector salary in the year 2010.

For now maybe the public sector workers will have to forego that extra week in Lanzarote, but they did manage to secure an agreement to freeze pay until 2015 and set in place a framework to restore pay to pre credit crunch levels.

As for the overhaul of the public sector promised in the last two budgets I’m sure we can expect an announcement soon, there must be an election around the corner.

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Posted by on April 6, 2010 in humour, Ireland

 

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